From being hurt to feeling rejected and now I’m at the point of feeling amused and trying to hold back a chuckle in a particular situation. I know of a couple who belittle everyone around them… or nitpick at their every move so much to make themselves feel the king of the castle. This all comes with colourful language and much cursing… The colourful language is the type that would make people cringe. I guess the choice of words reveals what is inside their hearts.
There comes a point when the fine line of ‘humour’ is actually abuse for which boundaries have to be put firmly in place. A few gentle requests of projected public humiliation (which didn’t even have any basis but could harm reputation) continued with the built in microphone. The 4th time round, a firm request to cut the stupidity was given. No colourful language, no condemnation, no curses.. yet the wife couldn’t handle it. From that time onwards, their response was to ignore. The husband took it a notch higher to send cold daggers and fiery glares. It doesn’t help that I had to keep bumping into him. I of course am not able to go down to that level, so when I see either of them I smile. The wife would look away but he would glare. This saga has been going on for a number of months now.
The last time this happened, I was so amused at the double standards that I had to suppress a chuckle. I feel sorry for this couple who treat people like dirt yet they cant handle someone setting boundaries firmly. Imagine if I had employed their techniques.
If we are indeed a sincere believer, not merely a professing Christian, we would attempt to love one another as ourselves. Jesus clearly tells us to do unto each other as what we would like being done to us. If you don’t like someone poking fun at you or trying to put in your place or condemning you or finding fault with you, simple, just don’t do it yourself first.
So many ‘Christians’ love to offer unsolicited advice without realising that is a privilege to be first earned through relationship. Many carrying logs in their eyes and with misplaced values would point fingers at the one who with a speck in their eye isn’t afraid to be who they are at all times. While the log carrier condemns, they don’t realise that the ‘receiver’ of their judgment call is smiling at the level of hypocrisy, that the one in the speck has less clouded vision than the one with the log. The speck carrier can see more issues in the life of the log carrier yet they choose to remain quiet with wisdom knowing there is a time and a place for everything.
Besides, God makes it clear that we need to BUILD EACH OTHER UP and NOT tear them down. If someone is busy inciting others against someone often with a well concealed ill motive, then it’s obvious that the tree is a bad tree needing to be cut down.
Yes, God does ask us to speak the TRUTH… yet there is an important clause to it. Speak the truth IN LOVE. This requires discernment. from God.
The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. – Isaiah 50:4
In order to have a well instructed tongue, our ears should be ready to listen to HIM. We test the fruit, the outward behaviour, of the one who gives us unsolicited advice… and are to be harmless as doves but as wise as serpents as we go as sheep amidst of wolves. Some wolves do come in sheeps clothing. DISCERN!
With legalism , arrives condemnation and humiliation
With love, comes fellowship and convictions
Condemnation leads to lack of self worth and division
Conviction invites to deepened intimacy with God
From which flows out increasing sincere love.