At the second class my young student was in a panic that she couldn’t do the homework as she didn’t understand it. She rushed on to tell me that she had asked her father to help her but it didn’t happen. I felt saddened at the immense pressure and guilt that this little girl felt. Of course, I blame it on our culture and the educational system. The whole purpose of tutoring was defeated if she felt that she had to get it all right.
I quietly explained to her that I didn’t expect her to know it all, that I didn’t expect her to get help from anyone else to do the homework. Her response: an incredulous look with widened eyes, pulled at my heart. I told her it is only from her mistakes that I could know where I need to focus while tutoring and that all I want her to do is try, to learn to think and make an attempt. She showed up to the next class armed with her Math and English homework… all laid out neatly and done perfectly. I told her I was proud of her and she sweetly responded, “Well, you explain everything so well. You are a genius”. While I was teaching her the next section and then looking at the exercises, she kept asking whether she could do the exercises for homework. Then she quickly marked the whole lot of exercises and asked if she could do more! I recall this same child at the first class wanting only half of the exercise for homework. Her eagerness made me so happy that words couldn’t describe it.
How often are we like this child with our spiritual walk? How often do we think that we need to know it all and get it all right to be able to face our Heavenly Father? How often do we think we need to put ourselves right before we can go to Him instead of realising it is Him who helps us put it right, that we can’t do it ourselves? How often do we realise that God is happy with each little step of progress of change, that even if we stumble He is happy that we are making progress, that we are learning and we are desiring more… More of Him.. More of His love… More of His trials.. More of His disciplines and thus more of the blessings that come through that?
If any of you have an incredulous look on your face right now, please don’t delay going to your Heavenly Father! He is just waiting to love on you.. to embrace you.. to help you.. to comfort you.. to wipe away your tears and strengthen you.. to equip you.. then the fruit of His Spirit will be increasingly evident.. You don’t need to wait till you get it all right – you won’t get it right until you increasingly abide in Him as it is the Spirit who helps the surrendered heart to be nudged increasingly onto the narrow path!
My student’s change made me just so happy. Even moreso, I know God will be delighted when we run to Him and make small steps of progress in our lives.