Yes, it’s ‘Valentines’ day so what better a topic to write on! The way guys would respond to a girl with an hour glass figure is inevitable. Very few guys would not respond at all. Of course, males in the South Asian cultures are so sexually repressed that they would harass any female regardless of age, appearance, clothing etc etc. But all that aside, I have always wondered why men can be so ‘shallow’ when it comes to their responses to women.
When they see the women they are sexually attracted to, they will pursue her until they have ‘won the trophy’. Once that is achieved, they go on to their next pursuit. Why did they even bother try to get the woman in the first place if they had no intention to hold on to her as a treasure?
I also wondered why many females (especially those like me) don’t fancy a well toned man let alone a totally ripped man. In fact, I find the latter especially repulsive – perhaps because in my eyes that person is self absorbed or ‘high maintenance’. I love my food and I love cooking – so diets and me just don’t sit well. Yes, I eat healthy as well as my junk food. I believe in ‘balance’. So I am pretty amused when I get friend requests or instagram followers by those who are of this category, who think they are ‘it’.
Why do we get attracted to certain type of looks, why do we not get attracted to other types of looks? Why do men hunt and pursue the type they are drawn to only to drop them and find another object of hunting? With answers to these questions, what ‘word of caution’ does it give to us believers?
Recently I partially watched a documentary that aired in Canada based on this very topic of sexual attraction.
Apparently research shows that sexual attraction is based on sexual reproduction and health. Not that human beings do this consciously – it’s a subconscious evaluation. An hour glass figure whether the woman be thin or fuller, is a figure where her waistline is 0.7 in proportion to her hip. This figure indicates a healthy body for reproduction. Long healthy hair signifies fertility and overall looks such as clear skin etc adds to the health outlook of a woman making her chances of conceiving and delivering healthy babies higher.
Likewise whether it’s a man or a woman, a symmetrical face is apparently appealing for the same reasons.
So.. girls, if you have had a low self esteem that only the ‘shapely’ girls are in demand and concluded that guys are ‘shallow’ – well hopefully this will help you change your mindset and your life a bit. Remember often the shapely beautiful girls are a trophy for the ‘hunter’ personality and this very hunter personality will continue his hunt once he gets the trophy.. This often leads the shapely women to feel unworthy as a sexual object, with her heart and emotions overlooked.
Remember your body is the temple of God and it’s a resource for stewardship with a FINE LINE to vanity and being self absorbed. Try to adjust your lifestyle to include some healthy habits like walking whenever possible cutting down on driving or sitting in one place. I’m blessed to have a high metabolism so I can eat anything and not put on. However, for those of you who do have a low metabolism, remember that the calories of food taken after 6 pm doesn’t easily get burnt so it actually sticks to your body. So if you want to splurge on some yummy high calories cuisines try to do it during the course of the day when your body is still active.. and introduce some fidgetiness into your routines as that burns calories too. Shhhh I didn’t reveal that little secret did I now?
It’s not just about getting the guys attention but if that healthy body is going to help your reproductive nature then why not give a little bit of attention to your body yourself?
So it’s a natural tendency to be attracted to the hour glass figure… but take a mental note and write it in your heart the subconscious drive for this! It’s to check vitality for breeding. Believers are those who do NOT conform to the world but are being transformed by the renewing of the mind. We also remember that marriage was about the two becoming ONE flesh and the purpose was to be fruitful and multiply. Thus this subconscious analysis in attraction was to choose a suitable partner for this purpose. (sorry to wipe off the smirk that was on your face!!)
Adultery (sexual immorality between people who are not married to each other) and fornication (sexual intercourse between the unmarried) are clearly acts of the flesh.. and those who are led by the Spirit will not be living in the flesh. Dating and relationships are meant to be in view of checking compatibility for marriage, marriage is the goal for it.
“If they cannot exercise self control let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” – 1 Corinthians 7:9
In a nutshell a true believing man will not be driven by the lust of the flesh.. and if he is tempted, he will do the right thing and marry the girl. Chasing a girl until she says ‘yes’ only to then walk away wounds the girl’s heart as she is wired to be the nurturer, relationship oriented. The guy may think he is macho in doing so, but God will hold him accountable. A man after God’s heart will lead the girl to the altar without giving a million and one excuses. Those who are driven by fear need to let God search their hearts instead of being disobedient to God!
So yes, we are created to be fruitful so hence there are certain things for certain reasons that we become attracted to subconsciously but we need to also remember that self control is an attribute of the fruit of the Holy Spirit and without holiness we won’t see God.