Recently I felt the Lord reminding me of a once upon a time close friendship that was strained to the point of being non-existent now. God showed me that this guy FEARS positive memories of bonding so that he can continue on the surface hanging out while being detached all along. I spent some time in intercession (as I usually do when God reveals something about someone) and then decided to send a message to him writing out a childish fun memory he and I once shared. (A few friends giggled when I shared that memory with them – that’s how childishly sweet that was. And yes, my friends know me how I love to clown about). His response was pretty fascinating. I got blocked….that got me smiling as it was indeed confirmation as to what God had laid on my heart. (Hmm he isn’t the only guy who has responded negatively to simply friendly fun memories).
Yes, I’m quite a sentimental person… I do cherish memories of friendships as a way of deepening the bonds. Recently a friend close to my heart and her family were leaving this little island. With immense nostalgia and a smile on our faces we were both relating the shared memories over the years of our friendship to one of her kids. That’s ATTACHMENT..
See… Having lost my baby brother who was much younger than me when I was in my teens, and then my mum when I was in my 20s, the reality of the temporal nature of life on earth drills home that anything can happen any moment. Added to this ‘lesson’, the fact that we are called to LOVE God and our neighbours (those who God places on our paths), giving priority to relationships over tasks and perfectionism intensifies.
Unless of course there is a vicious attitude involved where there is no sign of genuine repentance that results in step by step change, I do desire to reconcile with friends who have been close to my heart. Yes, I recognise the fact just as much as I am guilty, people do hurt one another with our actions or words in a moment of anger or due to a traumatic situation that one is going through.
It’s the heart’s motives and the heart’s condition
in what is being said or done that makes the difference.
Jesus does tell us AS LONG AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU, live at peace with one another. If the other person doesn’t want to have a contrite heart then that is not our issue. If we truly are in an intimate relationship with God, we will seek to be at peace with one another as that is what pleases God. Jesus tells us,
“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” – John 13:35
- Are you known as disciples of Jesus?
Its’ not what we preach or what we write (for people like me) or how we lead prayer.. it’s about our relationships with one another.
Let the Holy Spirit examine your hearts right now and if there are areas that you are holding back on being at peace with someone, ask God why!
- Is it because that they are vicious and that you can’t be a part of feeding into their sins by being their doormats?
- Or even though you shift blame on the other, is it because you have some un-dealt hidden negative emotions such as fear that belong to the darkness so that you are being threatened by the light of their lives?
May we step into 2017 with a determined heart to set right any strained relationships that we should be setting right and be better phileo agape lovers of one another! Yes may we be known as disciples of Jesus!