When I reflect back on my life – past and present.. I can see how much I have changed for the better I believe! I can hide in embarassment when I think of some of my behavioural patterns and reactions and responses to situations and people in the past. My insecurities and lack of healing played up big time – fear I guess was the motivation without realising it was so and thus defensiveness covered up the fear of further rejection, the fear of not being loved by others.. acceptance was what I deeply longed for, craved for..
As a child of course, I was the centre of attention by my older doting cousins! I was treated like a doll without a doubt… At school, the high school girls would come by my classroom during school breaks to pinch me and go. and also comment on how ‘fair’ I was. But at home I felt so unsecure… I couldn’t ever do anything right in my parents’ eyes no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I ‘achieved’ it was never good enough or it was a fluke. I would still be ridiculed and made fun of.
My Heavenly Father reached out and lifted me up from my inner despair which others wouldn’t see as I was generally the smiling one other than when I had my embarassing volcanic outbursts – like a bottle of fizzy drink that gets shaken repetitively and then the cap opened… the volume is doubled and intensified.
So yes I thank God there is change in my life and I thank God that His love and grace and mercy continues to touch me, flow in me and continues to heal me.. I thank God that i’m a work in progress but despite where I am in this progress, my Heavenly Father loves me and embraces me tenderly simply for who I am – His daughter. (Oh yes, in case you’re wondering all this goes for you too – I’m not the only special ones.. and He waits for us to run into His tender arms!!).
Our walk with God is a continual process… You can’t say I read the Bible yesterday or I prayed yesterday and not do that today! See, it’s all about communication in the midst of on going change. His Word is alive and active that every time we meditate on it, we can get inspirations and revelations on each word through the Holy Spirit.
Throughout the change we keep the communication going.. and we grow!
Our friendships with one another and our relationships with that special one person isn’t much different. It takes devoted INTENTIONAL love to embrace each other through the change, to keep communicating as to what is going on, hearing each other out and changing according to how God is leading us and to make our relationships work and flourish – but not at the expense of what God is calling us to do.
We keep in mind that Jesus did say
From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law – Luke 12:50-52
So it’s not always about unity.. God brought in confusion of languages as the people united together to build a name for themselves – which mean independency as opposed to depending on God. Our strong ties can lead us away from God’s plan.
Yet in the realm of marriage, of a couple, they are now ONE flesh.. and witness to how Christ loved the church. A marriage is thus always a INTENTIONAL PROCESS of open and honest communication to withstand and support one another in the change. I’m reminded of this quote:
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated;
often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. – Sydney Smith
As a believer, I would see the scissors as not a tool of destruction or punishment, but rather pruning to build up or make something flourish or create something! But yes they are so joined that they cannot be separate and even though in opposite directions they move together in the same purpose – COMPARABLE helpers that complement one another to seek Gods’ purpose.
Intentional open minded communication to
support change that is inevitable in our lives…
With God and with each other and with our other half.