I’m not writing this out of anger but rather out of a desire to shed insight so that others around us – especially those who call themselves Christians – would indeed be the Body of Christ that we belong to, that we have the RIGHT to belong to and INDEED belong to, would embrace us and support us instead of using abusing and rejecting us.
This is the stance of many many godly single women out there who have decided to remain single for the godly man for whom God has ordained them to be comparable helpers.
It’s not easy remaining single, to be set apart for God.. it’s a major war indeed. Yes we are human beings and not robots so we too do indeed come with our own share of desires, feelings, longing of belonging.. the list goes on. However, more over than our fleshly temporary earthly desires, our love for God, our yearning for God overpowers all that.
So no! we are not DESPERATE as it’s because we have found solace and true joy in God’s love that we CHOOSE to wait..
Married women out there, if you ladies are insecure with your husband’s roaming eyes, please don’t blame the single women for that… Just because we are single doesn’t mean we have to go about like a nun and renounce all the ways of life… Don’t try to punish us for our choices that are pleasing to God. Yes we are women, and we don’t dress to entice men but to present ourselves as PRINCESSES as that’s who we are.. daughters of the King of Kings, and proud to be.. which has to resonated in the way we dress and act.
Guess what we also have our fair shares of stress – from running our houses, to paying the bills to grocery shopping to cooking to cleaning and for most of us, a full time job or full time ministry whatever it is that we are doing. We have to do it all and if we are sick, that’s just us alone in our little territories. If we are looking ‘radiant’ and ‘young’ that’s because God’s Word, His promises hold true.
Those who look to HIM are radiant and their faces are not covered with shame – Psalm 34:5.
We have nothing to hide, so we walk in transparency… well, that’s what we all have to do as we are the light of the world…
God satisfies our desires with good things so that our youth is renewed like the eagle’s.– Psalm 103:5
Those are blessings from HIM as we turn to Him… (no, I don’t diet – I enjoy food and enjoy eating.. and no, I don’t work out and I remember stepping into the gym once when I was at University – and never went back again).
And for the married men out there, we ask that you respect us as godly women. We would have not made this choice to be set apart for God while waiting for the right man, if we didn’t believe in the fact that God ordained marriages. Yes I don’t promote divorce but a woman being abused physically or sexually or verbally is grounds for separation and perhaps abuse if the man doesn’t surrender to God to change.. and likewise with adultery as the woman doesn’t need to die at the hands of the man’s violence or contracted sexual diseases.
Personally we wouldn’t want our future husbands to sleep around with other women when married, and likewise we do not want to do that either.. We believe in purity and we believe what we sow is what we reap.. Besides without holiness, we can’t see God and that leads to our whole waiting to be meaningless.. So please don’t think we are desperate enough to be a mistress or a sexual companion to a married man let alone to a unmarried man too. Just because we are friends doesn’t mean we are your romantic companions either.. We don’t need human beings to satisfy our feelings as God strengthens us.. and as we abide in HIM, self control is very much an aspect of the FRUIT of the SPIRIT not our works.
And no, we do not enjoy being the centre of all the crude jokes of married men… All these moves are utterly demeaning and make us feel .. well not who we are.. So if you can’t respect that, then we don’t need that friendship as that is mere wickedness. We try not to focus on the things that are out of our reach . We firmly believe that a fire out of a fire place burns things down. LIkewise sexual intimacy where the two become one outside of marriage is indeed wickedness in the eyes of God. Yes if we are dating with a purpose there are certain boundaries that we fix as part of the courting period.. but that doesn’t mean we want it with others. It’s GROSS. So if married men want to fantasise and play around, find the women who don’t fear God if you don’t have the back bone to go for counselling with your wife to fix your marriage. You may fool her and others but God cannot be fooled..
A man who loves God and is walking with God will protect the single woman like his own sister not, use her. If you can’t support us in our decisions to be set apart, then at least don’t reduce us to an object and don’t try to crowd us emotionally coming in the way with the desire to be ‘possessive’ of us and with the motive of crippling us so that we are unable to embrace the right man.. Friendship has its boundaries, dating has its boundaries, marriages have their boundaries.
Once again, this isn’t a spurt of anger but rather a cry of despair.. and a desire to see people’s ignorance reduced to indeed be the Body of Christ, giving us the healthy belonging in the way that Christ would want us to be.
Whether out of intentional motives or out of ignorance, God will hold each one of us accountable for our choices and there is no escaping the consequences at some point or the other.
He is a holy God and He desires holiness from us too – maybe it’s time for each one of us whether single or married, male or female, to examine our hearts and our motives and our fears and what is of the flesh and what is of the Spirit. Kindly don’t blame shift on another for your own insecurities and weaknesses and in the process of blame-shifting watch out that you are not disobeying God’s commandments of loving one another and judging one another.
If you need to pray for your marriages and set it straight take the steps now – the time is now. God isn’t impressed with marriages that are like white washed tombs that look nice on the outside.. but inside.. … Preserving a false fake marriage is hypocritical and certainly not pleasing to God.
Once again, these are the heart cries of the single godly women so don’t punish us or treat us for those single women who don’t fear God. Well continue doing so if you really wish, but remember God is our HUSBAND and will come to our rescue and He is the one who takes revenge!