13 years and 6 days ago I stepped on the shores of Sri Lanka- or rather, I landed here! Out of this, 10 years have been a life of faith living = I just completed that mile stone by His grace! I look back at my ‘mission’ journey. Without a doubt there were many obstacles, difficulties, being shamed by people judging my choices and path.. the list goes on. However, this is how I look at it today:
I am ever so grateful for this journey with all its hardships praising Him for the blessings through it all. It has made me stronger in Him, learning to lean on Him and not on my limited meagre capacities. In fact it has stripped me of my independent pride and has taught me to learn to ask for help when I need it. Else I would have been the all sufficient whirlwind Priya who would have ended up being stressed by trying to do it all resulting in severe ailments. Pride is an antidote to how God would want us to be – as the Body of Christ is connected with Christ as the head and with each part bringing its gift / calling to the table. We operate together as one and not alone. My pride if continued would have crippled so many other parts bringing about ‘bed sores’ as it would have stopped others from using their gifts. I always remember a friend back in Canada gently chiding me that in not asking for help I am stopping the other person from being blessed!
Stepping out of my comfort zone, career, material belongings, away from friends and family into a territory where I am on a yearly visa etc have helped me understand priorities – oh yes without a doubt I still have a long way to go.. but it makes me realise the ‘false securities’ we have, the trust we place on people and on things and on institutions and on reputation, making them idols! These false securities shifts the trust we should place in God from Him… Our grip firmly on these things don’t allow us to freely obey God’s Word.
Yes, I have lost a lot of comforts and a lot of friendships over the years. However, when I reflect on the friends I have in my life beside me whether separated by many miles or not, are those I can treasure forever. God has weeded out the fake or materialistic or fair weather friends that would have been like weeds or thorns in my walk with Him as well as in my callings. The people that have stuck by me are those who have not judged me but sought to accept me despite not understanding my choices.
As for those in my life now – when I think of them tears roll down my cheeks with gratitude.. people who have been patient with my often sharp tongue, my PMS mood swings, adjusting to living by faith let alone moving into new territories and adjusting to a culture that isn’t me.. the list goes on. These are people who have supported me in storing my belongings for years despite the uncertainties, those who have helped me cart it from place to place, dust the stuff, wash the stuff, air the stuff… those who have given me nourishing meals when they see the weight loss or lack of cooking facilities or just want to treat me at a nice restaurant thinking i could do with some ‘pampering’, those who have supported me financially or offered me hospitality and godly hugs and a shoulder to cry on. People who are limited by distance and other genuine reasons have supported me by prayer and intercession and listened to my woes and cries without jumping to label me. Their love has blessed me to be able to bless others spiritually and more over aided my behind the scenes works that I do as called by God enabling furthering of His Kingdom bringing Him glory.
If I had been working and within my comfort zone, would I have had the time and energy to respond to my calling? If I had, would I have received the credit and the name and pat on the back or would God have got the glory? Surely the spot light would have been on me, instead of the rightful place of resting on Him! Now with all of us coming together in the various ways, the Body of Christ has been operating in the gift of helps, faith, intercession, word of encouragement, prophetic, support etc etc.
I have gained so much through the losses 🙂 I stand with a grateful heart to God with eternal praises.
Out of the hardships I lost what was not important and gained what is important while being prepared to receive what He has in store for me and for others through me!