Marriage Material

I met a single female recently and as we were chatting, she said her dad was trying to change her ‘marital’ status but she thankfully is adamant that she won’t settle unless she finds someone who is WORTH GIVING UP HER INDEPENDENCE for!  Yes, worded so appropriately!

Today’s day and age, many single women are getting their qualification, have their careers, and have got used to be the ‘man and the woman’ in her life.. She does the groceries, the cleaning, the cooking, sees to get the plumbing and what not done..They are happy in their ‘alone’ time and do not sway to peer pressure by family or friends or society…

Sadly though a number of females do get caught into the ‘have to get married soon’ trap or who think that marriage is the solution to all their problems..

A ‘hot guy’ is often a guy (not always but often – it’s a generalisation) who wants variety and can’t be satisfied in ‘commitment’.  If a guy is putting sexual pressure before marriage, one really needs to question whether he is indeed marriage material – and of course whether he is a sincere believer.  Self control is one attribute of the fruit of the Spirit.  (Yes a believer isn’t perfect – but it’s all in the attitude of the heart!).

Then the guy who isn’t there to protect you, who can’t be trusted to see you home safe but instead drops you in the middle of nowhere and doesn’t care what circumstances he puts you in through his actions (but concerned about his agenda / schedule / career etc) – well he’s definitely not marriage material!  In fact that is throwing the girl to be prey to the world putting her at risk –  she could have done a better job at staying safe if she were alone!

Yes a guy has his commitments – and that is necessary.. but a godly man COMMUNICATES with his partner… He tells her his availability so she can also plan her day for both to be able to have quality time with each other and not put a dent in other aspects of each others’ lives.  A man who does this earns trust from her.  Then things can be worked around so that her time  isn’t wasted because of his demands and she has to pick up pieces.  A girl is too precious to be ‘fitted in’ always without any concern for her needs and safety.  A man who doesn’t cherish the girl isn’t marriage material either.  She is better off being independent and alone than having someone and ‘bound’.

A man who can’t respect your no and wants to bulldoze HIS way through to do what HE wants, then he has no love.. Love doesn’t insist on its own way – it insists on God’s way and with that will come hand in hand the fruit of the Spirit!

A godly man BUILDS up and not tears down… his words aren’t empty but rather he follows through with what he says and helps her fulfill her potential as God has created her – just as she does the same with him.  After all, God has created man and woman as COMPARABLE help MATES… not individuals. If a man and woman are to come together for marriage this is an essential criteria. Comparable – not unequally yoked!

The husband is to wash his wife by the word.. preparing her to be a holy bride.. And through this love the man has for his wife, it witnesses to the love Christ has for His body.. Yes, the husband and wife become one flesh and are one body after all!  Is there compatibility in spiritual maturity?

Even if the guy is ‘spiritual’ and is prophetic or has ‘knowledge’ or all faith… if he doesn’t have LOVE then he isn’t marriage material either!

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith,so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing 

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. – 1 Corinthians 13:8

Well at the end of the day, it’s better to be single and serve God attentively – that’s what Paul writes in his epistles – than be unequally yoked being enticed by all the wrong reasons.being lured away from God too.  Remember that the words mean nothing but it’s the fruit that shows where one stands in God!  One can speak eloquently and be like a waxed apple, beautiful on the outside, shiny, luring with ‘Christian’ words and quotes but be rotten inside full of worms, an angel of Satan masquerading as an angel of light.

Seek God for His wisdom, test it out in choosing a partner and don’t settle for silver – wait for the GOLD that GOD has.. Be free not bound – free to worship Him, free to serve Him, free to love one another, free to be rooted in HIM!



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