I really don’t know what caused it… Was it because my father didn’t approve of makeup and thus my mum never touched it in her entire life? Was it because I was hanging out with guys (my brothers and my field of studies as well as work I should add) more than with females? But then again, I was very much involved in the South Indian classical arts such as Carnatic music (vocal and veena) as well as Bharatha Natyam (the classical dancing) and was always on stage. But then again that was heavy duty stage make up for recitals and when it was left to me, then it was clear mascara, clear gloss lipstick and a blue eyeliner!
I also remember my dancing instructor laughing at me – the moment I finish a performance, I run to the hairstylist to chop off my hair before beginning to grow it for the next performance! Ah perhaps THAT was my mum’s fault for dressing me up like a boy that even the sweet old lady living down the end of our road in the UK decided that I was indeed a boy.. No matter how much I tried to dissuade her, she would greet me and Steven, my childhood best friend with cookies for the ‘little boys’!
Growing up into a skinny teenager with not much of a difference into my early 20’s, I was hardly into make up. In fact I remember a few teenagers teaching me makeup techniques when I was in my early 20’s! When I was working in an all male department, I remember wearing dockers pants with a loose plain shirt tucked in imitating the rest of them. However, I did always add a printed scarf as an accessory – that was simply my style. I never wore any make up llet alone skirts or dresses for a good year at least as I so wanted to be ‘one of the guys’. I wanted to make progress in my career based on my skills and capacity, and not earn brownie points with my femininity. Oh, then again I guess I was more of a tomboy!
No, it didn’t stop with make up either! I wasn’t into skin care either. Once in a while, I would get into a frantic whimsy and decide that I will get into a routine. I remember the Palmolive body wash with exfoliating beads – well that lasted for a week at the most. Moisturising was a big chore… and happily thrown out of the window. Given my dry skin, at least my face got some attention…
Recently I recall a few situations where friends asked how my skin was suddenly healing of all the imprints that the nasty invasive rash had left on my body a few years ago. I told them that I was exfoliating and moisturising pretty much daily. Their reactions? They laughed and said, ‘That’s funny! Seriousy, how is that going?”. If it was only one person reacting that way, I would think that’s ok.. but a few??!! Ouch.. Says it all, eh?!
Yes, now there is indeed a CHANGE! The change in paying some attention to myself was a result of something else! Nope, I didn’t care walking around when my skin was looking terrible and red and darkened… I know others around me had a problem with it – some asking me to ‘cover up’ the ‘unsightly’ appearance, others asking me whether I should consider staying put at home as it looks ‘infectious’.
These last couple of years as the backdrop of my skin has been returning to its original complexion, the scars stand out more – and for those who haven’t seen me for years will remark at the ‘ugly’ sight! Yet when I see my skin, I can only marvel and thank God for how much of improvement there has been. In this last year though I have indeed developed a skin routine that is making a difference and have been diligently working at it.
So why the change now?
Well, my relationship with God has been deepening. I’m realising my worth in HIM, how precious I am simply because I am a daughter of the King of Kings – that makes me a royal princess! How am I representing my Heavenly Father to others? That’s a challenge as much as it is a conviction.
Yet, on the other hand I admit with much embarassment that God has indeed been dealing with me! He told me that it all boils down to a) not loving myself and b) not recognising my body as the temple of the Living God. Ouch! If that wasn’t enough, He went further to question me over these years, “How would you love others if you can’t even love yourself?”! The standard Jesus sets is to love your neighbour as YOURSELF. So what standard will we apply to loving others? If we aren’t even beginning to grasp how much Jesus loves us, how can we follow what He asks us to do, “Love one another as I have loved you?
Yes there is however a fine line! There is another category of women who won’t step out of the door without cakes of foundation and layers of make up, those who have to visit the salon overly frequently for every little thing … It may be an idea for such women to ask God whether there is an underlying issue that is causing them to be so – perhaps insecurity by not understanding their worth, or whether they are self absorbed which then means an underlying selfishness or perhaps any other reasons that God may bring to the light not with the intention of condemnation but areas needed for healing. None of us are perfect so we can take heart in that!
So now with my routine and my discovery of products, I’m able to help others in their problem areas and give them a tip or two. I’m also now able to not judge them for misusing their funds (as long as a healthy boundary exists) just as much as I have been grateful for those who have supported me one off or in one way or the other or in recent times those who have started to support me regularly and hence be a part of the KENOSIS ministries! I thank God that He has made provision for me to be able to take care of myself in addition to all the ministry and living needs through this faith living!
Without a doubt I do admit that my video blogs have also spurred me on a bit more for decent presentation!
Having said all that, we are a holistic beings consisting of body, soul and spirit. They are inter-twined. Being healthy spiritually also flows into a desire to be healed emotionally, to be good stewards of our body physically which is the temple of God and also to renew our minds, to be transformed into His image!
And the icing on the cake is the glow!
Those who look to Him are radiant 🙂