It Doesn’t Say Much About HIM!

So often I see relationships that are ‘hidden’, made a private affair.  Are they heading towards marriages?  If so, do they intend to keep their ‘marriage’ a hidden thing too?   Aren’t the people who are in a steady relationship with NOBLE intentions, those who get engaged?  Aren’t those who get engaged do so in preparation for marriage?  How can being a ‘secret’ be a preparation for a marriage that is to be a witness as Christ loved the Church?

Very often those who have ‘secret’ relationships are the ones who are embarassed or not ready for relationships. They may even be tying the knot due to compulsion, peer pressure or to keep up appearances.  Or those who have ‘secret’ relationships do so in order to hide their skeletons in the closet lest they fall out thanks to the voice of another.  Or they may be doing so, so that no one else can ‘steal’ their ‘treasure’.

Who has a diamond and keep the stone wrapped in a tissue paper and put away in a box?  What is the purpose of that?  Wouldn’t they want to set it in gold or silver, and wear it for others to admire?  Yes, many store their jewellery in the safety locker in case it gets stolen.  But nonetheless, they do take it out and wear it time to time.  It’s something they treasure and they handle with care and others also admire it.

How much more when you have found LOVE!  How much more would you want others admire your gift from God, to know that God has blessed you!

Yes there are many envious insecure people in the world.  I agree!  They don’t like other people being happy and thus they want to break other peoples’ friendships or relationships.  Scheming is the essence of their life.  Stories and false accusations are made up to break the relationship in order to ‘steal’ the person for themselves.  Often that type of person is a dog in the manger – not wanting the person to have a relationship with, but rather being full of the spirit of covetousness perhaps even the Jezebel spirit.  And often the man will easily get lured – especially if she tempts him with her sexuality.  Some would even get him pregnant to trick him into marrying her.  Yes, he leaves the gold that God gave him for something that seems to be pure gold without realising all that glitters is not gold. He later regrets and feels trapped.

(Once again, let me stress here as I usually do in my writing, I’m generalising here without a doubt – as it’s more men that can be lured, and yes, it’s more often women who envy other peoples relationships.. However, it doesn’t go to say it doesn’t happen the other way round too.. and this way helps with the writing for clarity reasons!).

So people in a panic to protect their relationship from others, go into hiding mode, choose darkness over light.  Is that an act of trusting God?  Can love be hidden?  Doesn’t the  Bible say true love trusts?  Why do we always imagine the worst scenarios?  Is it our insecurities playing up?

However, if a woman is indeed successful in luring a man away or breaking a close godly friendship, what does it say about the breaker and the leaver?

If a man can be lured away by another woman, what does that say about the man?  In my eyes, it doesn’t say much about him.  If he was strong in the Lord, could he be lured away throwing away what God had blessed him with?  If he had treasured the relationship, would he have made such a choice?  If he had been a godly man couldn’t he distinguished between a godly woman and a woman who is full of the Jezebel spirit?  Couldn’t he see the ‘fake’ fruit, the fruit that shines with a glossy thick wax only to hide a rotten fruit as opposed to the authentic fruit that will be as nice on the outside as the inside?

He WILL bring to light what is hidden in darkness and WILL expose the motives of men’s hearts.“   – 1 Corinthians 4:5

It doesn’t say much about him, does it? Sometimes it’s too late by the time the man comes to his senses… And sometimes his heart is so hardened that he never opens his eyes.

Isn’t it better that he left before marriage then after?  At least she can heal more easily at this point as the two wouldn’t have become one at this stage – well a godly couple wouldn’t have.  Imagine the trauma – emotional, sexual, physical – if he was to be lured away after marriage?  Imagine that after having children?  Or worse if he was to have an affair?  How much more devastating is that?  Darkness breeds sin..  And sin has its consequences.

Of course, I’m not denying the fact that the enemy may also have a part to play here – that it could be a godly man who has taken one wrong step and ended up sliding into the mud.

A godly woman would of course fight for the man she loves without a doubt.. but there comes a time she needs to let go if it’s prior to marriage.  If this man is indeed a godly man and was temporarily blinded, conviction will indeed come and there will be repentance and  a U-turn.  If he never comes back, then he wasn’t rooted in God securely…

I’m reminded of Adam here accusing God that the ‘woman You gave me’ was the one who ate of the fruit!  He was blaming both her and God.  Throwing away the ‘gift’ God gives in terms of a partner is indeed not appreciating God’s presence in our lives.  Jonah ran away from his calling, God dealt with him and brought him back.  He was able to bring Jonah back rather, as Jonah’s heart was ultimately surrendered to God after that bout of fear!

It takes a godly woman to cover her man (whether interested, in a steady relationship or engaged or in a marriage) in prayer despite that.  Hiding from the world isn’t the solution.

Jesus prayed on earth before His hour had come, that the Father has left the disciples in the world but not to be of the world.  He didn’t take them out of the world, nor did He take them out of civilisation, out of where people were, into the forests and jungles to have only animals around them without other human beings.  No He wanted us to be in the world and not of the world.. He has a purpose.. and we can overcome because we are His temple.. we are the temple of the Living God.

May we commit everything in His hands and seek His perfect will… and no matter what may we walk in the light and not be of darkness.  He will exalt the humble – the humble are those who trust in Him.


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