Back to me…Yet – Less of Me.. More of Christ though! I’m feeling a bit giddy, like a child. I won a designer lingerie set in a touched by a rose competition on a Facebook page. I was touched by His love indeed 🙂 My Heavenly Father is indeed pampering me 🙂
To understand the significance of this, please do read on!
It’s been about 9 years and 4 months since I began living by faith. The PROMISE “All these (needs) will be added to you” with the CONDITION, “Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness” has been what I have been clinging onto all these years. Initially I was so scared as I stepped out. The fear of the unknown, the uncertainty made me cut down on everything that wasn’t clear cut ESSENTIAL. Paying the rent and the bills and also ministry needs and my Bible College expenses took priority and everything about myself including skin care went out of the window. I was constantly living on the edge as I couldn’t budget and I couldn’t plan. As time went on, it became easier to look to HIM as I had testimonies of His intervention to lean on.
During this time, not only has God carried me through with ministry expenses, rent, bills, medication etc but also covered my Bible college expenses as well as one trip home to visit my dad and friends in Australia, and also about 5 ministry trips to India – from South to Central India. Yes there were times I didn’t have proper meals and often just nibbled on a biscuit. Yet God sustained me and kept me healthy. I can totally hear Paul saying he knew what it meant to have plenty and to have nothing!
Nowadays God has been teaching to spend by faith too – that I’m also important to Him. I got a skin rash breakout about 7 years ago and I had no option but to begin to take care of my skin and spend on necessary products.
Travelling by buses in Sri Lanka was getting really scary – the maniac driving in competition with other buses to the extent of pushing passengers off the bus in the middle of the road so that they don’t waste valuable time in losing their race, pulling people onto the bus and even as they have barely got onto the first step they drive off. Their sudden braking has made me do acrobatic landing falling in very unlady-like postures – more like an animal on its back! The consequences? Let me not go there! Well, if this wasn’t bad enough, the abuse by a number of men on the buses – including some bus conductors who think passengers are for them to flirt with – makes me have to sit in unnatural awkward positions to avoid their distasteful disgusting advances.
So many times I have cried out to God wishing I could avoid buses altogether. If the days aren’t too warm and I don’t have to be totally drenched in sweat, I just walk miles as that is far better than the agony of catching a bus. God surely has a sense of humour.
Well, a few months ago, I had a really bad asthma attack and i still haven’t gotten back to normal that I have been travelling in three wheelers. Often I would feel ‘guilty’ for ‘wasting’ money like this but on the other hand I prefer to allow my lungs to heal than worsen. In faith, I spend but carefully. I thank God that He has provided (and I thank God for the hearts that obeyed His burden) for me to escape the buses for a season at least!
In light of my faith life, winning yesterday was a real treat and it was called FLORAL PROPOSAL. Hmmm that’s interesting, isn’t it?! Let’s see what tomorrow holds.
I’m sharing my story for a reason! The thing is most of us are looking to our hands for provision and take pride in it. We work hard and slave away to store for a rainy day.. to be independent and to also provide for our families. Many single women are looking out for a husband who will be their provider, to be the money machine so to speak. In fact the bank balance is often looked at as a measure of whether he is Mr Right or Not. God is then fitted in if there is a slot, the Bible is viewed as a story of the past!
Reflect on this: God took the Israelites through the wilderness:
“He gave you manna to eat in the wilderness …. to humble and test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.” But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth – Deuteronmy 8:16-18
Jesus tells us to seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all our needs will be added (Matthew 6:33). Isn’t it the REVERSE to the ways of the world: be responsible, look out for yourselves and your family, make sure you get your needs met and all the luxuries and all the holidays and all the pets and all the etc etc etc …. and then IF you have anything to spare, consider God’s Kingdom and helping others. Will you ever have anything to spare then? The bar keeps getting raised doesn’t it? That’s the yardstick of the WORLD.
- Where do you stand?
- Are you able to turn to God to be in an intimate relationship with Him, to love HIM with all your heart, soul, mind and strength? Are you able to echo Habakkuk’s prayer EVEN if the fig tree doesn’t bud and there are no cattle in the stalls, YET I will rejoice in the Lord.
- Or are you looking to HIM for what you can get from Him or get out of Him or you just loving Him? What is your walk with Him really all about? Will the banquet hall be shut on you?
The 1st greatest commandment is to love Him with our all! If you are relying on the work of your hands for provision or the work of your hands of your spouse or future spouse, it may be a good idea to ask God to search your heart and show you whether you truly love HIM? Whether you truly BELIEVE in HIM! God isn’t looking for self sufficient people, He is looking for a people who will trust in HIM!
When we look to HIM and love Him with our all, we won’t expect things from people as God is our all in all (emotionally, security, financially, spiritually everything) and we are content in Him. We do what He tells us to do! Whatever else or whoever else God brings into our life is nothing but ICING on the cake.
Our Heavenly Father doesn’t work in the way we expect – He surprises us with His love… He meets our needs and occasionally pampers us too! Trust me!