Values… Affirmation…

I have to admit I was really surprised at the outcome.  However, as usual every experience presents itself with a lesson or two.

In preparation to travel, I decided to get my hair styled which had grown so much in the last 4 months.  Many admire my hair or even envy it… It is definitely something I treasure as a gift from God.  Only those who knew me from when I was a young girl knew how scanty my hair used to be and the scalp would show through.  However, suddenly I have so much hair that my hairstylists have to thin my hair out.  My hairstylist got carried away in being adventurous and thinned it out too much.  I had asked for a Jennifer Aniston cut and I ended up getting a punk 70s look.

Having a bad hair day is terrible enough for a girl, just imagine a bad hair cut!  And this just before I’m off to another land to meet new people! What a first impression!  So, I put up a status on FB saying at least the bright side of a bad hair cut when you are single and no one to impress, is that it doesn’t matter.  I was astonished that all were chuckling away and even asking me to post a pic of this bad hair cut!

It’s incredible how people have become so shallow and not one person who ‘liked’ my status could see through my ‘humour’ to mask my pain but rather got carried away with the ‘hehehe’!  No one was able to console me that appearance is superficial but it’s the heart that matters.  In fact I began to question whether any of them even understood me and what I stand for!  Interestingly, I had also written a status prior to that, stating I was feeling sad about my haircut.

After I started writing this however one girl did write an encouraging comment and another sent me a long empathetic message sharing her tips as she was going through the same.

It just goes to show how we don’t pause to really hear someone out… How well do we understand our friends let alone our fb ‘friends’?  Where do our priorities and values lie?  Are we really encouraging finding a partner based on ‘appearances’?  Are we validating people based on their appearances or credentials?  How are we using our words?  Has our life become so shallow that we just want a ‘laugh’?  Are we not able to give affirmation or comfort?

I was thinking how many opportunities do we miss to be able to extend His love, to be His vessel?  The two girls who did comfort me were those who understood a bad hair day and a bad hair cut.  They reached out to me and put a smile on my face.  And what surprised me even more were that these girls were not those I had ever closely related to… while the LOLs came from those I have spent time with.  In fact many of the comments I got was “but you had such lovely hair”.  (Isn’t that even more reason for me to feel the pain?!)

Thankfully, unlike us, God sees beyond the appearances and sees the heart.  I thank God for using those girls to cheer me up a bit, to give me some validation.  We all need it – we are all human beings… We get tired, we get weary, we get put off and it’s nothing like a bit of love to encourage our disheartened souls!

The Sovereign LORD has given me an instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary.

He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being taught – Isaiah 50:4

How often are we able to resonate with Isaiah’s words above?  How often are we allowing God to waken us up and waken our ears to listen like one being taught?

Remember Jesus’s words…

By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another – John 13:35

And of course in the greatest two commandments He makes it clear that we should love our neighbour as ourselves… How would we feel if we were in that situation?  It is important to always put ourselves in the situations of others and wonder what it would be like if we were in those shoes?  How would we feel?  Do we not laugh to cover up pain or to try to focus on the bright side to cheer ourselves up?  God gives us discernment if we are willing vessels.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing – 1 Thess.5:11

Speaking affirmative words will never be harmful to another person’s soul.  However, ridicule and making fun can murder it instead. Having said that, if we ourselves haven’t found our affirmation in Christ, how can we extend it to another.  We need to first understand who we are in Christ – we are the royal priesthood, we are created in His image and in His likeness the list continues… Not just me but also you.. not just you, but also me.  Have we even begun to comprehend how precious each one of us are in His sight?  It won’t hurt to meditate on scripture and find more references to find affirmation as to who you really are and who others are likewise!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you – Philippians 4:8-13

Let’s be prepared in season and out of season… let’s not miss out on every little opportunity to have an instructed tongue!

God bless you!



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