Relationship Status

Our days of social media – so different to what it was just a few decades ago!!! We are living a ‘public’ life but yet we want ‘privacy’. The paradox is that we are ‘public’ in the open, but we can also be secretive in public. The relationship status on FB could say something which is far from reality – oh, hang on, my bad! it could be reality in a twisted way!!

For example, one person’s status could say single – but they could very well be in a relationship – whether having a boyfriend / girlfriend or perhaps even engaged. Some others specify complicated while yet a few others have suppressed their status altogether only to find out in reality they are married. Well, in their eyes perhaps they don’t have a status as they are legally married but feel single!! Nonetheless, we find so many ‘lie’ about their status. Well, if it isn’t the truth, isn’t it a lie? Or have I got it wrong somewhere down the line?

Yes, to be fair, many hide their real relationship status for particular reasons.  In Asian cultures, where there is ‘shame’ when a relationship breaks down, people prefer to keep a relationship hidden until they are sure it’s going to work, i.e. end in marriage.  There are some who wish to hide their relationship status in fear that others will try to interfere and break it due to jealousy so ‘hiding’ it is the way they would want to guard their relationship with all their might till it is time to announce the wedding or just in time of the wedding.  Some wait till after the wedding is over to bring about a ‘surprise’ and post the pictures on FB!  Or perhaps even so that they can keep the wedding guests to a limited number without ‘hurting’ anyone… so all know only aftermath.  So each one has his/her own reasons… and yes, who are we to judge?

However, what are the “cons” of such a ‘scheme’ or would it be judgmental to say ‘deceit’?  How would our Heavenly Father view this?

When one is dating to get to know another and taking time in prayer to hear from God to be certain whether this is indeed Mr Right or Not (or Ms Right or Not), then the relationship status is still technically still single.  However the period during which each other have committed to a relationship and getting to know each other (open to the possibility that it may not work) – is a period of being a boyfriend / girlfriend… no longer single but in a relationship.

If a relationship has to be hidden or complicated, that in itself causes reason for the alarm bells to go off.  It could indicate several things – wrong motives for wanting to get into a relationship, already in another relationship even worse married, not wanting certain habits or traits being disclosed prior to marriage so to be able to secure the relationship, homosexuality could also be an issue etc.

When we are in the open about a relationship, we can discover and understand so many things.  Interaction with each other’s friends, family members, colleagues reveals much about a person’s character and personality.  People have a tendency to behave differently with different people.  It gives a glimpse into the real side of a person.  Besides, if you truly love someone, you cannot hide it.  In fact you would be proud to introduce your partner, there will be no shame.  The lives will begin to blend in – with a healthy balance of course.

If we know that God is in control, and that God is sovereign, then we will trust God and that nothing can stop His will from taking place in our lives other than our disobedience.  We then truly believe that if God is for us, none can be against us.  Hence we respect any break up or delays as God’s intervention to fulfil His perfect and pleasing will.  Like Joseph, we will be able to turn around and say to whoever interferes, “You intended it for harm but God’s intended it for good”.  We won’t feel threatened or scared but rather we will be in the light as God is light.

Hiding isn’t of God, it is darkness.. whereas the things of God belong to the light… there is nothing to hide.  As a friend of mine said yesterday, “Wisdom comes after the event”!  Often when we are in the midst of something, we have our blind spots as we are emotionally involved and we can’t see clearly.  However, we convince ourselves that it is God’s Will and interpret everything to suit what our flesh desires.  Those around us can see clearer and we reject the counsel of others as we are so bent on wanting what we want under the pretence of it being God’s will.

No, I’m not saying we need to simply adhere to every advise we get – at the end of the day we are accountable to God for our decisions and to be led by His Spirit.  The best solution to this, is to hear people out and take it to God in prayer and give it time…. while being in the light about it all.. This will give time to REVEAL things to us…

For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open (Luke 8:17)

For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil (Ecclesiastes 12:14)
We need to wait upon God, no matter how much of a rush we may be in, because God’s timing is perfect – He is never late.  Rushing is never a good sign, as those who are plotting evil want to get things done fast before their motives are discovered.

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways,

when they carry out their wicked schemes (Psalm 37:7).
We need to be accountable before God.  Jesus makes it clear that deceit is an evil that comes from inside and makes us ‘unclean’ (Mark 7:20-23).

In fact God says,

No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will stand in my presence (Psalm 101:7)
The dictionary defines deceit as “dishonest behaviour : behaviour that is meant to fool or trick someone”.  Isn’t being in a relationship and claiming to be single, deceit?

To overcome the enemy using deceit and schemes to take over our lives, especially in regards to relationships where we are ‘hiding’ from others what’s going on, we need to put on the full armour of God, detailed in Ephesians chapter 6.  We need to be alert and stand firm.

Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit (Psalm 32:2).
  • Where do you stand today? 
  • Is the Holy Spirit revealing any areas of deceit in your life or lack of faith in God? 
  • Is He trying to caution you to put you onto the right path or is He trying to protect you from making some wrong decisions?
  • Are you RUSHING into anything?  There is no better solution than to let go of what you are holding onto and wait upon God giving Him time to reveal the acts of darkness and stop what is not of Him or bless you with what is of Him…
Rushing it is simply our own efforts to make something work using God’s name in vain…
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