Back to the persistent kitten…
Well, she managed to get the attention of the cat from the previous litter… Now this cat would chase away his mother, his brother, everyone.. out of the house… and claim its territory. However, persistent kitty managed to win his love… He finally began to lick her, discipline her and protect her from his sibling… It was a real shock that this he-cat would cave in. She would cuddle into him and fall asleep. Awwwww it was touching!
However, the he-cat would time to time get so irritated with her and walk away. She would be looking at us and wailing whenever he is missing in action. The moment he walks back in, she pounces up and down with joy and tugs his tail to play with her. He spits and growls. Ouch… She looks surprised for a moment or two, and then goes right back behind him. He has now found a space above the wall cupboards, right on top when he wants his space, out of her reach.
It makes me grin!! How much are human males and females like this too? The guy shows affection, and that’s all that the female wants… She just misses him all the time and wants his company, wants his affection, wants to talk to him… However the males need their space… MUCH space… and when the going gets tough, more than they can handle (coming to think about it, they really can’t handle much attention – it seems as though they feel suffocated at the slightest) they RUN…
Fact of the matter is women “want” a lot from relationships… they want time, they want attention, they want affection… The scary part though is a woman liking a guy and expecting the guy to give EVERYTHING she wants.. as if though he is superman… (Hang on, would superman be able to give quality time to his gal – I doubt it, given that he is ‘on call’ at the drop of the hat when tragedy hits the city!). Often women enter a relationship with a man and expect to mould him into the man she wants, the man she desires.
(Let me clarify, this does happen both ways – but generally a woman wants more from the man! Of course the typical Asian (Indian, Sri Lankan etc) man expects the woman to be a robot at the home front and doesn’t necessarily wants her around relationally! I’m not sure about other societies so I will play it safe and mention these two categories only!!)
So where was I? Ahhh many women see a guy that they like physically and then enter a relationship expecting to change them to fit their Mr Right list… to get what they want… It is about Me Me Meeeeeee…. (Guys, wipe that smirk off your face NOW! This is the same for you too… especially when you meet the hot chic and want her characteristics to be changed to align with your list of Miss Right)
What they don’t realise is, a man will simply hate that! He will begin to feel so insecure that he isn’t good enough for her… and that he is trying to change her… He will then vent out his emotions in an unhealthy way – whether anger or violence or adultery or staying out as much as possible. Nope, I’m not justifying his WRONG behaviour, but just considering the possibilities of the consequences of the unhealthy approach of attempting to change someone.
I came across this on Facebook..
Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good.
In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.
I think that is excellent food for thought!
God ordained relationships… The laws and the commandments are all summed up into the two greatest commandments which are relational oriented.. When we love, we refrain from exploiting the other.
God created the heavens and the earth etc etc. and then He created Adam.. and then He saw all that He had created was not just good but VERY good. However,
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)
For Adam no suitable helper was found – the livestock was already created. So God created woman as a comparable helper to man. In fact, the term Adam used in this instance (v.20) was the generic term for mankind. It is not good for mankind to be alone and God thus creates a comparable helper, a helpmeet… God intends a relationship to be a place that you GIVE, both give.. and as you give, the other takes.. but it is about MUTUALLY giving… (If there is only giving, and there is nothing offered back then the relationship is obviously not meant to be.. You enter a relationship not expecting it to be a place to take but if there is nothing given back, then there is a problem!! Love manifests in action)
Godly relationships are formed when the relationship revolves around God, when He is the electricity that surges through them.. that their heartbeat is about God.. Thus their focus will be on giving, giving unto God what is His… The focus of both would have thus shifted from the “ME” (the selfishness) to God … The comparable helpers have been established and they walk in sync… with both gazing in the direction of God.
There is compatibility in their callings so that they can help one another.. they thus are comparable helpers 🙂 They fill in the gaps and balance out each others strengths and weaknesses so that God can be glorified. In the process, obviously the needs of both are met.. it would as God’s love fills in them and flows through them… As they give their lives to God, they yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit and lean on God’s Wisdom.. They enter the relationship to give, and both are naturally fulfilled 🙂 Is it hence any wonder that both “give” wedding rings to mark the beginning of their marriage?
- Where is the focus of your relationship today? Is it a place you go to take or is it a place you go to give?
Giving is about the small things… of watching out for the other person’s emotions, health, physical needs etc and giving accordingly!!