Watching out for perverse men

Women are often emotional. We tend to be flattered with attention especially if it is from someone we trust.  Those with the gift of discernment who truly care can see what is happening and they speak into our lives with love.  However, we are so caught into the situation that our eyes are blinded…  (Once again, this is GENERALISATION and I’m sure it happens the other way round as well.  However, more often it is this way around, and even the Bible verses are such.  I’m writing from a woman’s perspective but that doesn’t discount or deny the fact that there are many perverse women out there too).

We become like hypocrites warning other females to guard their hearts, to guard their reputation to the extent of not even sitting next to a guy (this in the Asian cultures where their cultures take precedence over God’s leading).  Yet on the other hand, we get caught in the trap of flattery.  We convince our friends that we are not leading the guy on, that we are pushing them away.  But when the guy winks at us, we blush.  When the guy leans onto the back of our chairs, we remain seated.  When the guy walks into a room where we are all alone, we tell the guy to go out but remain in the room even if he doesn’t walk out.  We become weak willed in their presence.

On the other hand when it’s the attention of a guy that we are not close to or we don’t trust, we give him a rude look when he winks… we move to another chair when we leans on the back of our chairs… We promptly get out of the room when he walks in.

When I was younger, I remember a guy from the youth fellowship used to wink at me, lean on my chair and yadda yadda yadda… all the things guys do to get attention.   Yes, it made me blush and I so enjoyed the attention.  However, one day as I flipped the pages of my Bible and my eyes fell on this verse below, my heart flipped.  I was not really a Christian at the time – I was a “wannabe a Christian”.  Yet, I knew instantly that God was cautioning me….

He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity; he who purses his lips is bent on evil – Proverbs 16:30.

Is it by accident that these words are in the Bible?  I realised that I had to stay away.  Well, in the meantime, my mum had come to a function and noticed this guy’s behaviour and decided to call me away and seated me next to her.  So yes, it was confirmation of God protecting me.

(Winking in itself is not wrong… there is a time and a place for winking with reason… it’s the endless winking for ‘seducing’ that I believe is being referred to here).

However many perverse guys would  get the families of their victims eating out of the palm of their hands.  The girl then gets totally confused.  This shouldn’t be surprising… Paul does caution Timothy and hence us, as to what would happen in the last days and that is NOW.  (The last days began after Jesus ascended into heaven).

Godlessness in the Last Days

But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God– having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires,  always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth.Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth–men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

2 Timothy 3:1-11

Men who are abusive are cunning.  They first get the woman into their trap – and convince the woman that he is an asset, that she can’t do without him.  He worms into her home, her family, her heart…. He then ensures that all those she is close with, whom she respects and holds dear – especially her friends who truly care about her and will help her see clearly –  are cut off.  He cuts them off one by one so that he can keep his hold on her life. Yet without knowing the real motive, she follows suite as she believes he “CARES”.

Women tend to have the ‘rescuer’ mentality let alone a Christian woman!  She feels that this man needs her love and also to help him grow spiritually.  Yet the Word is crystal clear, “these men – as far as the fair is concerned – are REJECTED”.

God isn’t looking for hypocrites.  He wants those who worship Him in spirit and in truth.  Those who worship in truth are lovers of God, they are WITH love for everyone around them and are forgiving.  Godly men increasingly display the fruit of the Spirit as they are led by the Spirit.  Women shouldn’t nurture such men, who are wolves in sheep’s clothing.  Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife – leaving his shirt and his job for that matter behind.  It cost him on a worldly perspective.  Yet God used that situation for His will to be done.  Joseph didn’t try to stay behind and teach her the ways of the Lord.  It wasn’t his role to do that.

We need to ask God for discernment and not follow the way that others around us are following.  Our blind spots are not evident to us, but others can see some of them.  Yes, God knows our hearts and doesn’t look at appearances.  However, sometimes our appearances can be the mirror of our hearts.  Also, God also gives some believers the gift of prophecy and words of knowledge.  We need to take heed of what God is saying to us.

David committed a series of sins… one to cover up the former and it continued.  His heart was hardened that when Nathan the prophet was sent to him, he was able to judge the scenario that Nathan put forward without realising his own situation was likewise.  Nathan openly rebuked him and David was convicted.  He repented.

Any relationship needs boundaries… even if you are married.  How much more so if it is with a platonic relationship, where there may be interests or crushes with intents not made clear?  In such cases, it is advisable to meet in groups.  Yet one on one time is also important to get to know each other.  Meeting outside is not always practical and can be costly.  If two have meet in a home, avoid the bedrooms as it gives romantic settings… stick to the hall and keep the doors open so that any unexpected visitors can walk in… Establishing transparency will lead to respect and also help to maintain our purity.

Yes, if you cry out for discernmentAnd lift up your voice for understanding,

If you seek her as silver,  And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God.

    For the Lord gives wisdom;     From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;   He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;
He guards the paths of justice,   And preserves the way of His saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice,  Equity and every good path.
When wisdom enters your heart, And knowledge is pleasant to your soul,
Discretion will preserve you;

Understanding will keep you,
To deliver you from the way of evil,

From the man who speaks perverse things, From those who leave the paths of uprightness To walk in the ways of darkness; Who rejoice in doing evil,   And delight in the perversity of the wicked;  Whose ways are crooked, And who are devious in their paths;

(Proverbs 2:3-15)

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