Darkest Hour

Instead of the single bed, I opt to use the double mattress in my room.  I have placed it on the floor near the window in such a manner that I can lie down and gaze at the stars each night.  Excitedly I recognize a few of them but the one that stands out is the morning star.  I have often woken up at the darkest hour before the crack of dawn and have had the blessing of seeing that very star, boasting of its brightness against the dark sky.

This morning I found myself humming a well-known tune but which I couldn’t identify, as I was still groggy.  I kept clinging onto the part that came clearly, just a few words “darkest… light… shine”… I was impatient wanting to recall the song in its entirety and yet ever so excited – I knew God was speaking.  The first few words finally unfolded with the key message, “in the darkest hour, His light will shine” and what seemed like ages later I recalled the actual song.

I kept thanking God and praising Him as last night I had cried out to Him not understanding this dark hour, a period of waiting and of being still.  For those of us who love to be doers, this is ultra difficult.  However as I write this, I am reminded of a prophetic word from one of my lecturers at Bible college years back, chiding me to get out of Martha’s steamy kitchen and to become more and more like Mary sitting at His Feet and lapping up revelation.

Later in the evening, I saw a strong light flooding into the living room.  Given it was rainy and gloomy outside, I simply knew that I had to rush out into the garden and search the skies.  There it was, magnificent as ever – a bright, clear, full arc.  A second rainbow was visible too, but barely.  What astounded me the most was the bright light surrounding the rainbow.  His light will shine in the darkest hour!

It has been a time of being still in EVERY area of my life… I even had a bout of asthma after years yesterday.  I just felt it was only God and me at the end of the day – without a laptop to do my writing and thus my ministries for Him at a pause, low on finances with bills and expenses towering over me, my passport up for renewal soon so that I can renew my visa to live here when that expires shortly….

When, what, where, how and most of all WHY?…  Questions after questions but I have learnt that faith means living by the day or even better by the moment and trusting that God knows best.  It means waiting upon Him to unravel His plans in His time and to do what He tells us to do only when He wants us to do it…

Often we run ahead of Him and try to implement as soon as we hear the revelation.  Very rarely were revelations fulfilled immediately after.  Most took years if not decades!  Sometimes He leads us along the path and we run ahead of time going on to the next stage in a mighty hurry.  We think relatively to time on earth but we need to remind ourselves that God thinks in context of eternity, no beginning and no end.

What a privilege to be able to marvel at God’s creation, His masterpiece for us to enjoy and enable us to relax.  He also speaks through this.   I also thank God for the blessing of friends.  Yes, by the grace of God and the encouragement of loved ones from all across the world who have resorted to text messages and phone calls, I have been coping beautifully without hitting a low or depression for that matter…

In faith, I believe that like the bright morning star shines in the darkest of hour His light shines in this dark hour of mine…  I don’t need to know what He is doing or why.  All I need to know is that He is ever so present and just enjoy His embrace.

“ ‘Martha, Martha’ the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41).

 

It’s not about doing just anything and everything good,

but it is rather about choosing what God wants for you and doing what He tells you to do. 

At times it’s about merely sitting at His Feet.

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Darkest Hour

  1. Hi. I’ve read a number of your posts, and although I don’t know you, my thoughts often resonate with yours: The world is beautiful, and horrible, all mixed together. The same is true of every human being, even ourselves. To perceive and contemplate this is to be sad. God’s answer to the problem is good, but it is not yet fully realized, and so we the redeemed are sad still. I imagine that a mix of love for us, and grief over our earthly condition, is what moved Him to make a way for our redemption.
    A bit of grief is an entirely honest response to the reality we’re stuck in for now. Christ wept over Jerusalem, knowing the good that was possible, but which was not to be, and the loss and suffering which would actually take place. It is appropriate then, that we should acknowledge the real loss that occurs when good is possible but fails to materialize. There’s a proverb, “A dream deferred makes the heart sick, but fulfilled it is like a tree of life”, and in the NT, “all creation has been subjected to frustration”, and “all creation groans”.
    So what I’m saying is, it’s ok, even a positive thing, to be feeling quite out of tune, even to be unhappy with the experience of this life. It reveals that your heart is set on better things.
    I will pray for you, my sister, that you will be refreshed and strengthened.
    🙂 EB

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    1. Yup I agree totally with what you have said. We won’t ever be satisfied here on earth as we are citizens of heaven…

      Thanks so much for taking the time to write and thanks so much for your prayers. I do feel so cut off from my loved ones overseas, from where i left to come and serve here… and also from the joy of writing… without the laptop. I get to use my housemate’s laptop time to time, but it’s not the same as having one to myself where I can write at the oddest of hours as soon as I receive an inspiration. God will provide the laptop at the right time and I just have to remain trusting in Him. I have lived by faith for over 6 years and will continue to trust Him for His provision at the right time – normally the 11th hour.. 😀

      God bless you brother! Thank you once again for your words of support.
      In Christ
      Priya

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