I simply love this song by Bob Carlisle… listening to it never fails to stir emotions… The phrase that Bob uses to describe his 16 year old song caught my attention, “one part woman another part girl”. I couldn’t help but ponder on it. It was so appropriate for a 16 year old who is on the verge of outgrowing her teens and stepping into womanhood. When does this stage become “all woman”? Or, does it? It hit me hard… there is always a part of us that is still girl, no matter how old.
Whenever I share my ‘relationship’ experiences as a ‘woman’, I do feel embarrassed as many mechanisms are very similar to that of those in their teens and early 20s. I won’t even begin to count the times I have told myself and others, “Surely this shouldn’t be the story for us as adults!” What I learnt over the years that it will continue. Well, it does make sense as we are always “one part girl” even though we are now physically ‘woman’. The girl in us longs to be cherished and cuddled … We long to ‘belong’ to a man and not used by a man. Butterfly kisses make me think of tender love as opposed to lustful groping or over bearing. And I’m certain that if a man cares to admit it, it would be the same for him too- but perhaps with the needs being different.
In fact I know I’m not the only one who feels embarrassed that romantic relationships don’t get any easier with age. I hear the same ‘issues’ echoing in all what I hear around me. It’s almost as if it is about being human regardless of age or maturity or even ethnicity. Perhaps the maturity level would help resolve things in a more practical manner. However, the issues remain the same. One thing I can’t help notice is that relationships with the opposite sex in regards to a partner for the ‘mature’ individuals are more COMPLICATED than that of a teen. It may be fitting to say it actually gets tougher. Teens tend to be so naïve and daring, without a care of the world and full of self-confidence and dreams that they chase persistently and don’t look before they leap. They either sink or swim.
On the other hand, the mature still have their dreams but that naivety is lost as they ‘know’ what happens out there in the real world. We think too much, we fear too much, we “see” too much and we hear too much. Many voices (ours, those of our loved ones, that of the enemy) compete with God’s voice to the extent that we are no longer to distinguish one from the other.
I can’t help but go back to the time of the disciples. They hit the panic button when they saw the heavy storm around them. Jesus’ response was “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm (Matthew 8:26). Just imagine Jesus chiding the disciples because of their fear! Wouldn’t you be afraid if you were in a boat and there was a ‘furious storm’ around you and waves sweeping over the boat? “You of little faith” are the words of Jesus in this situation. How much more would He say that to us when we fear building relationships with one another, whether it be platonic or whether it be romantic given that “love” is a commandment.
Many adults cling on to their past and carry MUCH baggage which results in fear and more fear. It’s crazy but most of us simply don’t care to examine their lives and reflect on behavioural patterns / experiences let alone turn to God. Oh how much relief lies ahead when we sit at God’s Feet!
Remember the words of Jesus:
“Take My yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:29,30).
Oh how light the walk ahead of us, if only we would deal with the baggage and unload. We will surely then experience butterfly kisses from our Heavenly Father.
The child in us should always be nurtured – else how can we have childlike faith to trust in our Heavenly Father as opposed to what we see, our own capabilities and limited wisdom?
One part woman / man, another part girl / boy…