He chases you till you begin to look his way; till your cheeks are red by blushing… At every instant, he gently touches your arm or catches your wrist to show that he is into you… He spends every waking moment whenever possible with you till he gets you hooked – hooked on to him… His observations and compliments drip like honey and make your determined resolve melt right into his arms….
And the worse part to this scenario is girls just fall every time – over and over again… We just don’t learn from our past mistakes and we fool ourselves thinking, “This time, it’s the real thing… He is sincere and he certainly isn’t playing with my feelings let alone taking me to be a challenge that he needs to conquer!” Yes, guys like the challenge of getting a girls attention, and once they have got it their adrenalin rush has calmed down… So it’s time to chase another – Such guys will give you all the reasons under the sun why this relationship can’t work…
(Yes, there are plenty of situations that happen the other way round whereby the female who has commitment phobia and tries to ‘escape’… However comparatively, males having these issues will be definitely higher in ration than females as females are biologically created to nurture and men to hunt.)
If you try to pursue the attention he initially showered upon you, he will accuse you of pushing the line and not respecting the private space. When you repeat the very thing he has done, he can’t handle it. Why? Because now he knows the pressure is on – pressure for commitment whereby he can no longer play around. He needs to ‘escape’ without his reputation being tarnished – even more so if he is in ministry.
Fear grips him and he begins to make up excuses… “Oh she is obsessed” or “This won’t work even if we were to try hard”. Little does he realise, he did the chasing and caught her attention in the first place. She is labelled ‘obssessed’ although all she is doing is finally she reciprocating his actions what he did at first…
Sadly society is quick to trust the man and lets him get away scot free while making the woman the guilty party. The same thing happened with the adulterous woman in the Bible who was brought to be stoned. Didn’t it take two to tango? Where was the male partner in crime? He wasn’t even mentioned – oh hang on, he is male… He is innocent. Well, no wonder Jesus stood up for her and extended grace with the condition, “Go and sin no more.”
Or even worse the suitor is quick to put the blame on God – “It isn’t God’s will… “. Quite a few seem to go one step further (after promises of wanting to take time in a relationship to get to know each other) and claim a ‘calling’ to be celibate. (Yet, they secretively continue to chase other women at least till the ‘victim’ has ‘cooled’ down! Else of course, they simply label the woman to be obsessed and the next ‘prey’ believes him as she is now smitten with his honey dripping words and attention! How easy!)
Women, do you think we should cut them some slack in this? Adam did blame God for the woman God had given him instead of taking ownership of lack of leadership…. Can we blame modern man as it is in the genes after all?! Hehehe…
If he was indeed a believer, he would have prayed about it before flirting, before making any advances…. as he is responsible with the heart of another child of God. If his love or intentions were genuine before God and to himself, he wouldn’t give excuses outside of the Christian love triangle (man, woman and God). Yes, there are indeed sincere reasons for a relationship not to work out. That’s a different scenario altogether. We are talking about the faint in heart or rather quick for excuses – the ‘player’ scenarios.
Situations, circumstances, cultural values, peer pressure and other people do not come into the picture of this triangle – although godly counsel should be taken into consideration and prayed over. The final decision of commitment should be based on what God is saying and not on what is visible or even what is acceptable. Rahab was commended for her faith and took a place in the genealogy of Jesus Christ… Nothing else mattered but her faith which results with a U-turn in life.
Paul writes to the Corinthians, “My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on men’s wisdom, but on God’s power” (1 Corinthians 2:4).
Yes, no matter how hard they tried, Elizabeth and Zechariah couldn’t have a baby naturally; likewise with Abraham and Sarah. However, super naturally they had babies despite barrenness and being past age.
Even the daring of armour clad soldiers dared to fight Goliath who stood much taller than them. However David plucked the courage and put his trust in God, got out of the armour that was too big for him and simply took a sling and stones in faith! Now that is a MAN after God’s own heart – although he was merely a BOY at the time.
“A woman can’t trust a man who can’t trust God” (seen on Facebook)
A man who claims to be a believer could even perhaps be in ministry and one who ‘prays’ doesn’t necessarily mean he has a relationship with God.
You can park yourself in a garage, but that doesn’t make you a car, does it?
(Billy Graham’s quote but not the exact words I believe).
In fact the Bible tells us clearly, “There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be …… lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God – having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. But they will not get very far because… their folly will be clear to everyone.” (2 Timothy 3:1-10).
We can pray like the Pharisees did… as an outward show. Their rewards were given then and there, not by God! A praying man listens to God’s voice and doesn’t get put off by circumstances… A godly man studies the scriptures, meditates on the verses and applies it real life… His faith begins to build.
Man looks at appearances, but God looks at the heart. We may fool others or we may even fool ourselves, but we simply can’t fool God. He sees the heart, deep down within… He searches the heart – He knows the motives, He knows the hypocrisy….
“His speech is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords” (Psalm 55:21).
Could the war in his heart be a war within himself…. a war to stay ‘safe’ or to conquer his insecurities, to break the chains of fears that have wrapped around him as a result of rejection and past experiences… ?
Let’s pray that these captives will be set free by the mighty name of Jesus and the Counsellor (the Holy Spirit). May we have compassion on these men who don’t know the power of Christ. Let us make sure we forgive them from the bottom of our hearts so that God can forgive us of our sins.
However, let us strive for righteousness and expose these wrongs so that these men can get healing and come back to the right path… and also so that other vulnerable hearts will be protected from unnecessary hurt. They can’t get away with it, and if we loved our neighbours we shouldn’t let them get away with it either.
As much as Jesus is Lamb that was slain, He is also the Lion of Judah – grace and truth are two sides of the coin.
No matter how hard you try, some things may be naturally impossible…
However, when God wills something, you just need to yield to Him
As with God ALL things are possible…