I was fretting, pacing up and down, getting a headache… The anxiety made me bombard my friends with one email after the other, with prayer requests. I thought my faith was decreasing instead of increasing as things didn’t seem right. God hadn’t “blessed me” with my need in a timely basis… something I had to give another. I was trembling so much I could hardly walk – I wondered how I was going to face this individual as this person has been quite a bully over the last few months. As I left home in the morning, I called a few friends to see if anyone could spend time with me… all were busy. I longed for company. However, one friend told me to hang out at her place till she returns back in the afternoon and even offered for me to stay there for a few days until the matter gets sorted out.
I started to reflect on all the divine miracles in the Bible, and claim that the God who did them then is more than capable of doing that and even more today. Manna and quail fell from heaven, water was turned into wine, ravens fed Elijah, the little oil kept overflowing etc. I kept thinking of the way many men of God were given provisions – a unknown person approaching them and giving what was required. I half expected an angel to appear! But no, nothing took place. I started to feel dizzy in fear.
In the mean time, I had got a few emails about a breakthrough… and I thought it was going to be a breakthrough in my needs… But one email insisted that the breakthrough was going to be in my character. It didn’t make sense. However, the friend I stayed with recognised the spirit of fear at the thought of approaching this ‘bully’. On the other hand I received text messages from friends that I shouldn’t give all of what was being requested. I then realised that what I had received from God was the real need – not the demand from the other.
God brought in human beings to stand by me and come forward to sort this matter out… Much prayer and much confirmation later I realised God was telling me to have a spirit of power and get rid of the spirit of fear to authoritarian figures. Yes, the matter hasn’t been sorted out yet, but my peace has returned, and the physical symptoms have vanished! I am able to now thank God and praise Him for the inner healing that is taking place – that my chains are gone and that I’m being set free!!!
Human beings consist of body, soul and spirit. What affects one part of us does seep through to the rest as they are all inter-connected. One’s emotional distress often can be seen physically through symptoms such as a headache, faster heart beat etc. Jesus was so stressed thinking of the suffering, the agony that lay ahead of Him. The emotional turmoil was visible as His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. Perspiration trickles while blood flows. Here, Jesus’ perspiration started to flow like drops of blood, rather than trickling down – it shows high anxiety. As much as He rather get away from this, He still surrenders His will to the Father and prays ‘yet, not my will but yours be done’. Fittingly, the scenario takes place in the Garden of Gethsemane. In Hebrew, Gethsemane means olive press. Olives are crushed through the press pouring out precious olive oil. The oil is used for culinary, beauty as well as for healing. Similarly, Jesus is crucified shedding precious blood for a beautiful result. God had His purpose through it.
God’s will often seems foolish to the flesh. Noah was most likely ridiculed when he set out to build the ark in a mountainous city over many years. The sufferings that we try to skip are nothing compared to the plight of the Lord who was without any sin whatsoever. Yet, we may very well end up missing out on God’s blessing when we impose our will on God. Faith is in the unseen (Hebrews 11:1). There are times when we need to give in, there are times we need to stand up. It may not be helpful for us, but it may save someone else the same agony….. but at all times, we need to ask God what He wants us to do!
If we truly want God’s best for our lives, we need to accept the hardships too and thus surrender our wills to Him. Most of the times, we are impatient or greedy or selfish that we want things now and in our way for our own gratification.
Do we have enough faith in God to pray as Jesus did: “Yet not my will but Yours’ be done”?
“What we perceive as our needs, may not actually be the need but rather a want that isn’t in His plan!”