A journal of a day in September 2011
Yesterday was one of the BESTEST days in my life… the storm continues, the situations haven’t changed but the peace that surpasses all understanding was mine. The preceding few days was filled with restlessness; impatiently pacing up and down watching the phone. As if that would make it ring! I have heard it being said, “Promises are meant to be broken”. Well, I do experience that more often than not – promises are broken with one excuse or the other… Mind you, I’m guilty of the same!
Every aspect of my life was at a standstill. I was at cross-roads. The waiting had put a lot of next steps on hold. I was anxious, kept bugging the team (thanks to technology – texts, FB, calls…) who are with me on this and sought counsel. I was told the very thing I knew God was telling me to do – ‘wait on Him’. I became calmer.
Yes, the enemy like a thief comes to steal, kill and destroy what is of God… but yet I told God that I trust in His Sovereignty. I know for a fact that nothing can stop His purpose being fulfilled other than my own disobedience and perhaps my lack of faith. He sees the whole picture – wayyyyy beyond I do. Infinity, eternal – these are the terms that come to mind, way beyond my capacity or potential or wisdom! Even if it’s a ministry unto God, I realised I should just surrender it to God and allow His timing and His way to over-rule any part of it that doesn’t belong to His perfect plan.
The test of surrender… Day before yesterday I got back down to working on one of my books. However, yesterday was so fruitful. I started doing some Bible studies, exploring, researching and it was incredible! The joy I had – I realised I had missed doing it to this extent due to the other ministries especially the new venture taking up all my mind and energy. Throughout the day, I heard God’s voice as I used to and I had plenty of ‘aha’ moments. My eyes were closing and I had to drag myself to go to sleep as my physical body was tired but my spiritual person was wide awake and active. I couldn’t get enough… I was thirsting, longing for more and more… to hear Him, to soak up all the revelations He was quickening in my spirit, to hear Him remind me of His Rhema (spoken) words that I had forgotten all about……
This morning as I woke up, it struck me that this is how you define (or explain to others) what it means to “Delight in the Lord”! The delight was such that the thought of all the storms faded; with the anxieties and worries melting away like dew would. When we truly delight in Him, the worries and cares of the world dissipate despite the circumstances still being the same. Meditating on His Word, enjoying His presence, basking in His love, constantly chattering with Him…. what else do we really really need? I use the term chattering – as it makes me think of a child filled with naivety, pouring out everything that happens inside its heart and whatever is happening in its life (experiences, frustrations, joys)… that sense of ‘innocence’ or transparency. The joys are the simple joys that make them jump up and down in excitement, “Daddy, daddy look what I have done!”
Are we able to delight in our Heavenly Daddy like a little child? Or do we have reservations? What is holding us back?
“Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). The desires that are in your heart as you delight in the Lord (I’m not talking about just a few hours of delighting, but the constant delight that makes you gaze at Him and forget everything else) tend to replace those that are of your flesh.
That is what He will give! The desires that are of Him, of His PERFECT and PLEASING will.